These Strangers are Family Now

Some people find shelters for senior citizens depressing and avoid visiting them as a result. This was my initial impression at the Pashupati Bridhashram, a home for elderly people in Nepal. But after spending over six months with the seniors there, I was inexplicably uplifted. The stress of homesickness from living in Kathmandu without family was wiped out. I felt fortunate to have a family, as many of the senior citizens no longer did, and even though they had lost loved ones and possessions, they still cared for each other and retained a deep sense of humanity.

The story of how they ended up in the home was almost always the same: in their old age they had become a burden on their families who admitted them at Pashupati. For the elderly however, it was sometimes a relief that they were in such a holy place and didn’t have to bear the taunts of living in a house in which they were no longer welcome. But none of them came willingly, nor did they have anywhere else to go.

Pashupati Bridhashram has a limited budget as it is run by the Government. The facility is congested, short-staffed, and shows signs of gross mismanagement. Regardless of the living conditions, its residents had found their new family among the strangers.

Sankule Lati, 77, greets strangers with “Namaste aram” and a quick tilt of her head.

Lal Bahabhur Nagarkoti, 80, was a gardener at a rich Marwari house. His wife, a beggar, passed away long ago. His young son eloped with a Brahmin girl and is no longer in touch with him. He also has a daughter. At Pashupati Bridhashram he passes time by reading the Holy Book.

Lati Lathauri is mentally disabled. She used to work as a maidservant.

Til Kumari Khatri, 71, and Yadongba Tamang, 70, laugh and play like children. They are in love. Yadongba’s daughter-in-law brought her to the shelter one day and left saying, “I’ll be back soon.” She has never returned.

Kanchi Khatri was a maidservant. Nine years ago, when she was no longer able to work, her employer brought her here. She still cooks her own food at the shelter.

“I am a storyteller too.” Shanti Tuladhar introduced as herself to me after introducing myself to her as a storyteller. “I have a book,” she said. “If you want I can recite my favourite poem from my book, Unko Samjhana. It is about the life here, titled In my old age.”

Every morning and evening residents gather for Bhajan to sing devotional songs. Those who can’t walk to the prayer room chant from their own beds.

Dhana Kumari Ranabhat, 99, takes a bath with the help of her husband Dil Bahadhur Ranabhat, 90. Dhana Kumari was forced here (by whom?) after her first husband died. She later fell in love with another resident, Dil Bahadhur, a retired soldier. They are now married.

Dipa Thapa, 75, used to sell flowers in Pashupati and when her husband died, she started to live here permanently. She has two pet cats in the shelter. They are her only friends.

Shiva Bhandari used to visit Pashupatinath Temple and earned some extra money by giving “Tika and Parsadi” to the devotees. When his physical condition declined, he ended up living here. No family member ever visits him.

A medical team comes to Briddhashram three times a week to help the elderly people.

Pashang Lama, 70, had deteriorating physical health for a long time. When this picture was taken she could barely get out of her bed. She has since passed away.

Chandra Maya Niraula, 82, has been living here for a long time.

Puneye Kumari Karki, 88, used to work as a marble polisher in Bir Hospital. After the death of her only son, she became mentally ill. According to Hindu customs, she is not able to stay with her daughter.

Shehab Uddin

Chain of Poverty

Amrao Manush

These Strangers are Family Now